1)  Hybrid Preparado       Scrapped together this hybrid concoction      willingly powers a simple flash light with       nothing more than 10 gallons of kerosene,      a few electrical parts, some confused but      colorful tubing, and an electrical cord      to absolutely nowhere.      . .  3) Boatfish       I guess it all started when I answered     an ad for an equestrian related job.     The employment opportunity turned out      to be nothing more than an un-glorified     stable boy position. Day one I was handed     without much pomp and circumstance I     might add , a snow shovel looking     implement. Being a warm snow-less     summer day, I reacted with a  look of     puzzlement, only to be met with a      gesturing hand pointing at a     steaming pile of manure.     Oh well it's a job. . . . 5) David at the Zoo     Standing by the Giraffe cage David tosses a     banana to what he thinks is a large male     silver back ape, only to have it tossed  right back     at him in favor of some  tasty acacia  leaves.     David may be a masterpiece of Renaissance     sculpture, but he don't  know nothin about no Giraffes.     You Go David ! . . 7)  Elizabeth III      Mostly an All-Purpose Matriarch, Liz as she's      known to her  friends, finally acquiesces to the      idea of a suitor.  George shows up with some      very realistic looking plastic  flowers. Within      the first hour of their ill fated encounter, he     "camps out" on the following subjects; The      names of his three cats, his recent knee      replacement, and the many hardships he faced      as  a  young  boy scout.  Liz soon drifts off,      recollecting fondly of the days when beheading      was an acceptable form of punishment.      George blabs on obliviously. .          . 9)  Pick a Simple A-Line      I've been doing a little lifting lately, nothing      heavy just a few light reps. I've experienced      no side-effects other than this damn polar      bear head. My sister and her clone friends      hang out, drink herbal tea, and show off      their ability to hang upside down without      the use of a prehensile tail. . .   11)  Granny Goes to Mars        What does fifty cents get you these days?        A trip to Mars in a vintage rocket with          Teddy watching over you. A word of warning,        Teddy has absolutely no control over the common        Woodpecker. A Woodpecker cop will cost you        an extra half-dollar. Be sure to wear your        protective Granny Panties, nothing secures        you quite like a full sized pair of bloomers.   ________________________________________  ________________________________________	. . . 2)  Sleep Guard      Having my sleeping habits monitored by      an itinerate button-downed clown, soon      became common place. After a brief but      annoying adjustment period, I eventually      started sleeping like a baby. Every morning      like clockwork this self apponited slumber      warden squeaks a children's tricycle horn      and yells, "wake up!"     . .  4) Tabs for the Lonely     It was at that very moment that she leveled a stare      freezing me in my tracks.,  I hoped she wouldn't actually      speak,  I was sure any attempt at a conversation      would render me tongue tied. I had  literally turned to      stone, a prisoner of  my own imagination. . . 6)  Take Aim       Mister Gideon takes a while to       fine tune his sights, but once       he does, he turns in an       impressive round of taps.       The whole routine borders on       suicidal until one realizes       a rifle doubles quite well as       a musical instrument.  . . . 8)  Senatorial Beavers       The Beavers perform their version of kissing babys.       Vincent the more out going of the two decides to       branch out, and gets caught red-handed slipping       into a size five pink pump. Their political career       gets off to a bumpy start. . . . 10)  Plant Production        Somewhere in the hills of North Georgia        a late shift reports to work, comprised        of veteran plant workers responsible for        the production of  Sno-Cone machines.        Ronnie Lynn Donnel, the Plant foreman        forgets to bring in donuts, and a particularly           unpleasant mutiny ensues. . . . 12)    Pimp Daddy Gets a Trike           Daddy was deprived as a child.  Instead of the normal children's         trike he went straight  to a lime green metal-flake 64 Impala         Low-rider with fur trimmed upholstery. You should have seen         him rolling up to the Kindergarten. A trio of Borneo natives watch         on in  quiet bewilderment, occasionally eyeing a bevy of  sumptuous         burgers. A Goliath Grouper casts a disparaging glance at little Juan.         Juan looks on and smiles heartily at this disparate menagerie,         considering it to be nothing more than his own personal toy box.