Scrapped together this hybrid concoction
willingly powers a simple flash light with
nothing more than 10 gallons of kerosene,
a few electrical parts, some
and an electrical cord
I guess it all started when I answered
an ad for an equestrian related job.
The employment opportunity turned out
to be nothing more than an un-glorified
stable boy position. Day one I was handed
without much pomp and circumstance I
might add , a snow shovel looking
implement. Being a warm snow-less
summer day, I reacted with a look of
puzzlement, only to be met with a
gesturing hand pointing at a
steaming pile of manure.
Oh well it's a job.
at the Zoo
Standing by the Giraffe cage David tosses a
banana to what he thinks is a large male
silver back ape, only
to have it tossed right back
at him in favor of some tasty
may be a masterpiece of
sculpture, but he don't
know nothin about no Giraffes.
You Go David !
7) Elizabeth III
Mostly an All-Purpose Matriarch, Liz as she's
known to her friends, finally acquiesces to the
idea of a suitor. George shows
up with some
very realistic looking plastic
the first hour of their ill fated encounter, he
"camps out" on the following subjects;
names of his three cats,
his recent knee
replacement, and the many hardships he faced
young boy scout. Liz soon drifts off,
fondly of the days when beheading
was an acceptable form of punishment.
George blabs on obliviously.
9) Pick a Simple A-Line
been doing a little lifting lately, nothing
heavy just a few light reps. I've experienced
no side-effects other than this damn polar
My sister and her clone friends
hang out, drink herbal tea, and show off
their ability to hang upside down without
the use of a prehensile tail.
11) Granny Goes to Mars
fifty cents get you these days?
A trip to Mars in a vintage rocket
Teddy watching over you. A word of warning,
absolutely no control over the common
Woodpecker. A Woodpecker cop will cost
an extra half-dollar. Be sure to wear your
protective Granny Panties, nothing secures
you quite like a full sized pair
2) Sleep Guard
my sleeping habits monitored by
an itinerate button-downed clown, soon
became common place. After a brief but
annoying adjustment period, I eventually
started sleeping like a baby. Every morning
like clockwork this self apponited slumber
warden squeaks a children's tricycle horn
and yells, "wake up!"
4) Tabs for the Lonely
It was at that very moment that she leveled
freezing me in
I hoped she wouldn't actually
I was sure any attempt at a conversation
would render me tongue tied. I had literally turned to
a prisoner of my own imagination.
6) Take Aim
Mister Gideon takes a while to
fine tune his sights, but once
he does, he turns in an
impressive round of taps.
The whole routine borders on
suicidal until one realizes
a rifle doubles quite well as
a musical instrument.
8) Senatorial Beavers
The Beavers perform their version of kissing babys.
Vincent the more out going of
the two decides to
branch out, and gets caught red-handed slipping
into a size five pink pump. Their political career
gets off to a bumpy start.
10) Plant Production
Somewhere in the hills of North Georgia
a late shift reports to work, comprised
of veteran plant workers responsible for
the production of Sno-Cone
Ronnie Lynn Donnel, the Plant foreman
forgets to bring in donuts, and a particularly
Pimp Daddy Gets a Trike
Daddy was deprived as a child. Instead
of the normal children's
trike he went straight to a lime green metal-flake 64 Impala
Low-rider with fur trimmed upholstery. You should have
him rolling up
to the Kindergarten. A trio of Borneo natives watch
on in quiet bewilderment, occasionally eyeing a bevy of
burgers. A Goliath Grouper casts a disparaging glance at little Juan.
Juan looks on and
smiles heartily at this disparate menagerie,
considering it to be nothing more than his own personal