Gallery Oblique  - New Directions  

Hybrid Preparado

1)  Hybrid Preparado 
     Scrapped together this hybrid concoction
     willingly powers a simple flash light with 
     nothing more than 10 gallons of kerosene,
     a few electrical parts, some confused but
     colorful tubing, and an electrical cord
     to absolutely nowhere.


3) Boatfish  

    I guess it all started when I answered

    an ad for an equestrian related job.

    The employment opportunity turned out 
    to be nothing more than an un-glorified
    stable boy position. Day one I was handed
    without much pomp and circumstance I
    might add , a snow shovel looking
    implement. Being a warm snow-less
    summer day, I reacted with a  look of
    puzzlement, only to be met with a 
    gesturing hand pointing at a
    steaming pile of manure.
    Oh well it's a job.

David at the Zoo


5) David at the Zoo

    Standing by the Giraffe cage David tosses a
    banana to what he thinks is a large male

    silver back ape, only to have it tossed  right back

    at him in favor of some  tasty acacia  leaves.

    David may be a masterpiece of Renaissance

    sculpture, but he don't  know nothin about no Giraffes.

    You Go David !


Elizabeth III


7)  Elizabeth III

     Mostly an All-Purpose Matriarch, Liz as she's

     known to her  friends, finally acquiesces to the

     idea of a suitor.  George shows up with some
     very realistic looking plastic  flowers. Within
     the first hour of their ill fated encounter, he
    "camps out" on the following subjects; The
     names of his three cats, his recent knee
     replacement, and the many hardships he faced
     as  a  young  boy scout.  Liz soon drifts off,
     recollecting fondly of the days when beheading
     was an acceptable form of punishment.
     George blabs on obliviously.

Pick a Simple A-Line


9)  Pick a Simple A-Line

     I've been doing a little lifting lately, nothing

     heavy just a few light reps. I've experienced

     no side-effects other than this damn polar

     bear head. My sister and her clone friends

     hang out, drink herbal tea, and show off

     their ability to hang upside down without

     the use of a prehensile tail.



Granny Goes to Mars


11)  Granny Goes to Mars

       What does fifty cents get you these days?

       A trip to Mars in a vintage rocket with  

       Teddy watching over you. A word of warning,

       Teddy has absolutely no control over the common

       Woodpecker. A Woodpecker cop will cost you

       an extra half-dollar. Be sure to wear your

       protective Granny Panties, nothing secures

       you quite like a full sized pair of bloomers.  






Sleep Guard

2)  Sleep Guard
     Having my sleeping habits monitored by
     an itinerate button-downed clown, soon
     became common place. After a brief but
     annoying adjustment period, I eventually
     started sleeping like a baby. Every morning
     like clockwork this self apponited slumber
     warden squeaks a children's tricycle horn
     and yells, "wake up!"

Tabs for the Lonely


4) Tabs for the Lonely

    It was at that very moment that she leveled a stare

     freezing me in my tracks.,  I hoped she wouldn't actually

     speak,  I was sure any attempt at a conversation

     would render me tongue tied. I had  literally turned to

     stone, a prisoner of  my own imagination.


Take Aim


6)  Take Aim

      Mister Gideon takes a while to

      fine tune his sights, but once

      he does, he turns in an

      impressive round of taps.

      The whole routine borders on

      suicidal until one realizes

      a rifle doubles quite well as

      a musical instrument. 



Senatorial Beavers


8)  Senatorial Beavers

      The Beavers perform their version of kissing babys.

      Vincent the more out going of the two decides to

      branch out, and gets caught red-handed slipping

      into a size five pink pump. Their political career

      gets off to a bumpy start.



Plant  Production


10)  Plant Production

       Somewhere in the hills of North Georgia

       a late shift reports to work, comprised

       of veteran plant workers responsible for

       the production of  Sno-Cone machines.

       Ronnie Lynn Donnel, the Plant foreman

       forgets to bring in donuts, and a particularly   

       unpleasant mutiny ensues.



Pimp Daddy Gets a Trike


12)    Pimp Daddy Gets a Trike

          Daddy was deprived as a child.  Instead of the normal children's

        trike he went straight  to a lime green metal-flake 64 Impala

        Low-rider with fur trimmed upholstery. You should have seen

        him rolling up to the Kindergarten. A trio of Borneo natives watch

        on in  quiet bewilderment, occasionally eyeing a bevy of  sumptuous

        burgers. A Goliath Grouper casts a disparaging glance at little Juan.

        Juan looks on and smiles heartily at this disparate menagerie,

        considering it to be nothing more than his own personal toy box.