Possibly the title "Author" is a bit grandiose, but "Guy Who Writes Stuff" sounds too pedestrian, even for me. My credentials such as they are, include but are not limited to the following: In the 60s I muscled thru Mr. Odom's Junior College Journalism classes, 101, 102, and even the tortuous and dreaded 103, a feat accomplished by only a few stout-hearted super nerds. I maintain a daily journal, mostly documenting such captivating items of interest as my inability to avoid downing an extra Almond Joy candy bar. My career as a corporate cat wrangler required me to create a steady stream of memos describing in glowing terms the merits of endearing oneself to even the most disagreeable of quasi human being type customers. This creativity demanding, albeit futile exercise was responsible for developing the lion share of my journalistic prowess.  Additionally, I can see thru diaphanous walls, make a rather tasty tapioca from 100% synthetic ingredients, and I'm fluent in my own made up jibber jabber language, resembling a mix of Portuguese, Indian, and Pig Latin. I once served as Chaplin for a branch of the Collegiate Civitans organization. I served as Historian and President for the alpha chapter of the esteemed Theta Psi Phi fraternity. As a  student senator, I learned the value of staffing the campus voting booths with my fraternity brothers, a maneuver resulting in a record setting land slide victory over my worthy opponent. Unexplainably I won by a margin equal to more than double the entire campus population, including maintenance staff, grounds keepers, faculty, and past alumni living and deceased. I was however drummed out of office shortly after a brief reign of terror.