I am in charge of maintaining the company Suggestion Box. I naively volunteered with noble intentions of "making a difference".The securely locked, reinforced (12"x16") unpainted box is located near the Company Cafeteria.The proximity to the cafeteria has guaranteed that I remove a moldy catsup stained tater-tot from the Box on a weekly basis. The Tot is not so bad, it's the Lasagna I mind. Simply writing on the provided suggestion form; "Please have Lasagna more often" would be sufficient. A licensed commercial contractor produced the box at a cost of $310.49. The project took 122 days from start to finish, owing to the avalanche of triplicate paper work that had to be generated, approved, inspected, re-approved, and signed by no less than five company officials, up to and including the CFO.  _____________________________________________________________________________ I will now share with you some of the comments I've extracted from Suggestion Box. _____________________________________________________________________________ * I have no suggestions but do have comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,   insinuations, allegations, and accusations, can you tell me where to stick them? * Please Insert the Suggestion Box into my supervisors Fecal Ejection Port * I suggest a seat be provided next to my desk for my imaginary friend * I suggest Danny in Accounting be required to wear a gelding harness * I suggest (Anonymous) I be in charge of adjusting said gelding harness * I suggest the cafeteria double as a Cock Fighting Arena * I suggest we be allowed to have pets in our cubicles - I have a pet Mandrill * I suggest the water fountain flow free with reconstituted Tapioca juice * Dear Suggestion Box, I am the Suggestion Box across the street at the Battery Manufacturing Plant.   I have been admiring you for months from afar. How bout we go get a coffee? * I have introduced a family of Formosan Subterranean Termites into your Box, they will soon reduce it   to a heap of sawdust * Rename the Suggestion Box - the Suggestion Abyss * From: Gwen Caro-Davies Director of Marketing:   Exchange Student / Intern, Angelo De La Parte has recently joined the Marketing Department Team.   He is spending time with each Department within our Organization. I have assigned him the responsibility   of analyzing  Suggestion Box activity. He will be working with you on a daily basis beginning fourth   quarter. He speaks only his native tongue of Basque. If you have questions or concerns please feel   free to contact my Administrative Assistant - Lenora Gesterling * Please remove the lid from the Suggestion Box so that it can be better utilized used as a   lovely flower planter * I live inside the Suggestion Box after hours, I need some tiny furniture, a .000025 ton Air Conditioner,   running water (not the Tapioca), full tiny major appliances, and a six-inch tall paramour * Remove this inane contraption from the hallway of this building or I will fill it with claustrophobic    fiddler crabs.  * I don't have a suggestion, I just wanted to say Hello, I'm dysfunctionally shy. * I suggest you hang a paper shredder on the wall in place of the suggestion box, eliminating the middle man * Gennie in Facilities Management wears panties only occasionally, and only when it's cold.  * I suggest more positions be made available in Facilities Management * I suggest that Larry in Supply be less suggestive